A Case for Embracing the Dark
A Case for Switching Off the Lights Early
This article first appeared in the January 2025 print issue of The Intentional Muse.
The sun will set at 4:31 pm this evening in New York City. The golden sphere will gently glide behind the buildings outside my window, eventually giving way to the prolonged darkness I’ve grown to love. For me, the dark winter months are cherished. Extra blankets are strewn about, fur-lined slippers are nestled next to my spot on the sofa, and the tea kettle is usually going strong. Kay McKean, founder of the intentional candle company Lights Off, has also found peace in the dark, a discovery that began as a first-time mom.
“I found myself needing an easier way to reset and come back to my body and my own rhythms, so I started turning the lights off and lighting a candle,” McKean explained, “I learned about the power of intentional time spent in darkness, and how healing darkness is for our nervous systems and our biological rhythms.”
Most of the time, those moments of darkness were mere minutes, brief stints where she could sneak away from the demands of that hectic time + ground into herself. As our conversation rolled on, we got to talking about the influence that digital light has on our everyday lives.
“As a species, we’ve evolved from being in touch with a much more natural balance of light and dark,” McKean said. “And with the increases in technology, we’ve become flooded with artificial light all the time. We’ve forgotten that the natural balance of lightness and darkness that nature brings us is so important to our well-being.”
She’s right to say it’s important. Joan Roberts, a photo biologist, explained that darkness is indeed a gift—one that can help keep cancer cells from growing and increase melatonin production, which helps regulate sleep rhythms. (1)
Lives can be transformed through embracing seasonality and, therefore, embracing darkness. “Nature shows us this every winter, the trees and the flowers around us die and there's a season of decay so that there can be new growth come spring. And the same thing happens in our bodies each month as women. There’s a cycle for shedding and releasing layers so that we can create this newly fertile space for growth and creation,” McKean observed. I agreed. When we spoke, I was menstruating and feeling lethargic, and while fueled by our conversation, knew I’d need to take time later for a brief recharge.
Luckily, she has just the ticket. “[The Candles] are designed to support you with whichever phase you’re in. For example, we have a Rest candle that’s very inspired by the winter season. As you might expect, the fragrance that comes with the Rest candle and the meditations are designed to support you in creating that cocoon for that beautiful cycle of decay and rebirth. We [also] have an Expand candle that is very much inspired by summer. Summer is a fire season, and there are cycles in our lives where we are in our greatest, biggest blooms of fertility or expansion or creativity or flow. The meditations that come with that candle are very much designed to activate your energy, fuel your fire, and locate it within yourself so that you can nurture it.”
Lights off after sundown! Artificial light affects your circadian rhythm. For sounder sleep, flip the switch.
Embrace low-light activities like journaling, playing a card game, or yin yoga.
Light pollution runs rampant with 99% of Americans and Europeans living under what’s called “Sky Glow,” which doesn’t do much for our well-being.(2) Sleep in an eye mask to promote sounder sleep, and if you really want to embrace the dark, invest in blackout curtains.
Hygge it up! Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word that describes a cozy and contented mood and atmosphere. How can you make the space where you spend your evenings an area you love? Think cushy duvets, candlelight, and a record player crooning the classics.
Attempt to live more cyclically. If you’re a menstruating person, making an effort to live by the phases of your cycle is powerful. The Red Tent days may be long gone, but we can still endeavor to schedule fewer meetings the week of our bleed, and gather with friends in nourishing ways during our energetic follicular phase. By honoring our cycle, we’re honoring nature’s.
Use this time to turn inward and feel our feelings. Often in the daylight, we’re energized and go-go-going, making it easy to skip over feelings of sadness or discomfort. Winter and her darkness ask us to grow through what we go through + feel these emotions.
Create Nighttime Rituals. Designing an evening ritual is a beautiful way to honor these darker months. Ideas include meditating in silence to candlelight, taking a steamy shower followed by slipping into warm pajamas, and thoroughly stretching the body before climbing into bed.
Kay Recommends:
Wintering by Katherine May
Waking Up to the Dark by Clark Strand
Light’s Off Candles & Their Accompanying Meditations
You can follow Kay and Lights Off on Instagram at @LightsOffLife + Check Out Their Website Here.
By Kayli Mylius, Founder of The Intentional Muse
Sources:
1. Roberts, J. (2001, May 17). Scientists Say Darkness Benefits Health. ABC News. https://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=117447&page=1
2. Light Pollution. National Geographic Education. (n.d.-a). https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/light-pollution/
It was such an honor to interview Kay and learn more about living in tune with our natural rhythms. Who says you can't embrace hygge in the midst of summer?